In front of the person you love, your heart beats faster

But in front of the person you like , you get happy.

In front of the person you love, winter seems like spring
But in front of the person you like, winter is just a beautiful winter.

If you look into the eyes of the one you love, you blush
But if you look into the eyes of the one you like, you smile.

In front of the person you love, you can’ t say everything on your mind
But in front of the person you like, you can.

In front of the person you love, you tend to get shy
But in front of the person you like, you can show your ownself.

Then person you love comes into your mind every 2 minutes.
You can’t look straight into the eyes of the one you love
But you can always smile into the eyes of the one you like.

When the one you love is crying, you cry with them
But when the one you like is crying, you end up comforting.

The feeling of love starts from the eye
And the feeling of like starts from the ear.

So if you stop liking a person you used to like
All you need to do is cover your ears,
But if you try to close your eyes
Love turns into a drop of tear and remains in your heart forever after.

( Unknown Author )

In life, I never thought of sacrificing time for a person is a waste of time but sometimes what life really means to me is about how you feel now and what action to take. Seriously, I ever encountered girls who fell in love with me. It’s I’m being too arrogant (on something or someone) and ignorance of letting them down. I might surpassed those right moments in life to dealt with, failed but never realized how important it was to repent. I coward myself, a silly being, and now being agony. I’m alright… just need to calm myself down under sentiments.

有时, 我觉的很蠢哦! 看到时机不好好珍惜. 而解还善望的很快. 到今天对爱情之类的东西现在有点陌生了. 一开始的时候, 觉的很新鲜, 刺激, 火辣. 不管用尽方法来讨好对方, 送花啦, 口爱娃娃, 或是赠品之类的. 刚毕业不久的我, 还是第一次妄想天开的要抓紧时机, 不错过的追求她! 然而…

次次失败的我有点不自在, 而且还觉的很丢人哦!

第一次到人的家, 两个大大的眼睛盯着我, 好象很陌生可是有点电电的感觉. 说真的, 那时后真的不知道情为和物. 还好那时候是农历新年初三. 跟着一般 ‘猪朋狗友 ‘ 到处玩, 到处 ‘ 敲门 ‘ – 恭喜恭喜. 可望红包啊! 哈哈! 最初, 我股起勇气向对方打个电话说不过去 ‘哈楼’ . 当然要谢谢我那位圣玛丽的童年同学啦! 没有他那儿来的电话号码呢?

打过去的时候, 对方有点怕怕的感觉, 也不大会说话, 而且还有点羞呢! 大家彼此彼此. 讲到某某话题的时候, 大家都很集中精神, 可是有时还讲到不知说些什么, 可有点幽默感. 我很喜欢大家打开话题因为这是我们开始理解对方的时候. 在电话里头的那一杀哪, 我的心会跳的比普通还快, 而且耳朵会很很烫呢 ( 因为以 ‘ 餔 ‘ 一个多小时的电话粥啦!).

个人也知道说太久电话, 脑电波会受到影响. 所以到时候了, 就应该停止, 明天或后天在来. <- 很好笑乊!

最终, 不知道为什么大家都没有开始过, 还是缘份还在周围巡转呢?

待续…

Traditionally, employer hire employees in order to finish those unfinish works for them or prepare a solution that would embed the company’s profitability and reliability. My case is the same as to fulfill their requirements and understanding their desire and needs at the same time. I did my work deliberately, without hesitation. But sometimes, I did something reckless that ruined their work, and worse still, causing havoc.

As an IT personnel, I did what I have to do of providing hardware and software services. As an analyst, I concern budget on the line. As a designer, I design conceptional at it’s own. Fairness was treated upon it’s contemption, scorned. I cannot urge more of it but to tolerate. The situation on monday was pretty squabble as the managing director bang on the table and kick on the wooden tiles on the floor, in front of me and another Executive. Everyone outside was quite stumbled with the situation. For me, my heart ponders and was totally concise under an impasse state.

I deleted his data in the server. For my understanding those files stored in the share folder were purposely for temporary usage. Once stored and retrieved for that particular day, it must be removed as there is not enough storage for it. He intentionally treated that folder as his permanant storage and stored all crucial files in it. I formatted it and who’s to blame in this situation?

I am pleased to have my IT manager to stick on my side as he understands my situation. That managing director was totally out of his mind, a mad cow I suppozed. Bad tempered and brained worthless. The whole entire monday afternoon, I was outside wondering which Data Recovery Centre might be reliable and cheaper to retrive those data until I found one in Sim Lim Square and took those hard disks to a small shop who claimed they are able (try) to recover those data. But before that I consult my IT Manager for the price. He noted and confirmed to proceed with the recovery. It was $30 for diagnosing the HDD and $250 for the data recovery of each hard disk. I have 3.

After I left for about 5-10 minutes, he called up and told me not to proceed with it as the Managing Director decided not to retrieve the data. I suppozed he had found his files somewhere or the designers had already transfered ti him. I turned back and took the 3 hard disks back as that shop is preparing to diagonose the HDD. I appologized to them and they are alright with it. I feel bad at that time.

I was totally hopeless a few hours back the incident as you know I held the responsible for all these. Dodging problems isn’t a wise choice as digging solutions is precise dignation. These days, whenever I face the Managing Director, broad smiles have to apply on your face and of course whatever he said must be reasonable and true. No resistance. I phased; that I work for money not for him.

This post is mostly about my childhood & teens life.

I was born in a big family; not that rich nor that poor. Just moderate can do. In chinese we called a small and simple family; 小康之家 but I would rather categorized myself in ‘ 中 ‘ 康之家; with some cloths on and enough to fill my stomach, simple yet tranquil except in the school. I stayed with my parents, an aunty, ah ma & ah kong, 2 sisters all over the years and you know, I suffer less. My brother was in Singapore that time for work. Which means I gotta play ciccy games with my 2 sisters. lol. I still remember I had 2 neighbours (girls as well) and we played friend or not friend. HAHA! In chinese is 不要跟你好! 没有朋友做! It was quite tedious because 2 years back I saw them, both grown up and we never had a conversation at all. Instead, I was quite friendly with their mom. Hmm..

Family businesses surrounded me when I’m young. My childhood sucks to be honest. How? Why? It ponders! I was not really encourage to spend a lot when I am young. I still remember I asked for RM1 (1 Ringgit) from my father every morning for some snacks / food in the school. I was quite shy to ask more from him and I don’t know why. The hands raise up for a ringgit and wondered if he’d give me RM5 or RM10! But as usual, 1 Ringgit. I am neither dissapointed nor demanding for more. I am just jealous of some rich kids in the primary school who can buy 2 big bowls of laksa (RM1) + 1 keropok (RM0.30) + 1 chill tube (RM0.20) + Choco Stick (RM0.30) + 1 can of soft drink (RM0.70) and yet, he still have some more left reserved for tomorrow or after school / tuition. At that time (1990), RM1 is a lot.

That’s not all. The real reason behind the word ‘SUCK’ is…. I was rated as the most ‘ham sap low’ guy in the class room (primary school). Or in chinese, ‘七嗰北’ or to be exact – lewd. Or either being called ciccy (in secondary school)… What on earth? Or probably I am weak when I’m still young. Bullies surrounded me. Not really bullies, I give you a scenario. When I was in the Kindergarden (St. Jude), I was bullied by an Indian. His name was DAVE. I kept this name clear in my mind still and yet, his childhood look is still clear in my mind, about 6-7 years old (Dangerous eh? hehe). He kept on pulling my hair during the class; any event would do, dancing, rest time. I don’t know what had got up to this big bully. I informed my teacher but she ignored or said, "DAVE, YOU BEHAVE & YOU (refering me) GO BACK TO YOUR DANCE." We were dancing on that time. And so my childhood was shadowed by this rediculous hair removal experience. i merely got BOTAK. I didn’t managed to explain it to my parents because I like my friends around except that DAVE.

2nd scenario was a thin guy (his name is 嘉伦) in the primary school use a board pin, rubbed a number of times on the floor until it’s hot and place it on my arms. "OUCH!" I toned & paused. He laughed and turned away. I reported this incident to my teacher 张老师 (Mrs Chang who is a reasonable person) and the teacher "slapped" him on his action on me. He appologized to me but that’s not all, he kept on defaming me without any reasons at all. I hardly talked to anyone in the classroom except some trusted ones only. And one of them who really acted a bit ciccy but friendly; considered one of my ‘buddies’ on that time. Does this have to do with my friends around? This world is so cold and dark.

These incident had brought me apart and into the second half of my life — the teenage life — secondary school. I don’t really make friends around. I was meant to be in Green Road at first place but due to delay of some "DATUK" that my uncle knew, I was transfered to SMK Sungai Maong. The classroom was differentiate through colours instead. So, I was listed into GREEN CLASS by Mr. Cikgu (teacher) Ahmad – The Shortie. At that time, the Green class is the second best in the school.

Unfamiliar faces looked at me once I stepped into the class, LATE. Everyone looked at me as it was the first day of school. Nothing happened on the first day as you introduce me and I do the same thing back. The second day was a bit fustrated as I started to get insulted of being so quiet. Some strangers came to comfort me and wanted to know what happened to me. Exactly, the first day to school is a bit nervous because you’ve got no clue what’s next coming your way. Malays, Ibans and Chinese mixed in the class.

The first thing that made me started to talk was the interaction in the class. Something like a brief intro about yourself in the chinese class which I took for the first year. Preety hard! I was glad that I knew this bunch of friends who named themselves as ‘Heng Tai’ or in chinese 兄弟. It’s a GANG or BROTHERS. They were crazy enough to brighten your day. I was fortunate to met a friend named MIKE. He’s cool and consolidate as one of my best buddy in the sec. The gang looks after one another. In other words, it’s to prevent one of the members from being bullied. That’s good. I thought. If one of the members was bullied by someone, others will stand up for you. No fear is the case.

Then I realized life in the secondary is getting more and more excited…

To be continued…

Here is some archive if you’re interested to flip back. A Brief Intro About Life. Part 3 , A Brief Intro About Life. Part 2 , A Brief Intro About Life. Part 1